The rain came down hard, and me and my brother, Joey, were having fun stomping on the sidewalk to see who could splash the highest. Then the stupid thunder rolled in, so Mama said we had to come inside. After we changed into dry clothes, Joey and I were sprawled on the living room rug playing Pick-Up Sticks, but he had to go and cheat again. I hollered at Mama to get him to stop. About that time, someone knocked at the door. She went to answer, telling us, “If you can’t play nice, put the game away.”
“You’re a bratty little tattletale,” Joey said and gave me a fierce glare.
I stuck my tongue out then said, “Better than a rotten cheater!”
About that time, Mama let out a squeal. Daddy came out of the kitchen, and me and Joey jumped up to see who was at the door. It was Uncle Ed, Mama’s brother. He was on leave from his second tour of Vietnam. He had a scar on his face from the Korean War, but he said it didn’t hurt anymore. Mama called him a ‘Lifer’ and said that’s why we didn’t get to see him much. He told us he’d come to see his favorite niece and nephew. I didn’t know why he said that since he didn’t have any other nieces or nephews, but Uncle Ed said a lot of stuff I didn’t get. I could swear I heard Mama call him a dim wit, but Joey said I was stupid. He told me what Mama said was Uncle Ed had a dry wit, whatever that meant. I didn’t ask cause I didn’t want to be called stupid again.
Uncle Ed, dripping wet, came inside and dropped his duffle bag. He turned to us kids, all smiles. He took one look at me and said, “Hey, Pudgy. Look how much you’ve grown!” Mama and Daddy smiled, too, so I thought pudgy meant Uncle Ed liked how I looked in my pretty new pink pedal pushers. Later that night when I was supposed to be asleep, Daddy, Mama, and Uncle Ed sat out on the porch talking. I snuck into the living room and pulled the dictionary from the bookcase. It turned out pudgy didn’t mean pretty at all.
After Uncle Ed called me pudgy, he rubbed Joey’s head and said, “So Rusty, how’ve you been?” Joey stood there blinking. I knew he wondered why Uncle Ed didn’t call us Joey and Debbie like everybody else did. Later I heard Mama and Daddy talking in the kitchen while Uncle Ed took a nap. Neither one of them knew where ‘Rusty’ came from, especially since my brother’s hair was almost white-blonde, not red. Daddy said maybe Uncle Ed spent one too many years at sea. Mama shushed him and said that wasn’t nice.
When Uncle Ed woke up, he said he had a surprise for me and Joey. He reached into his duffle bag and pulled out two wrapped packages. He handed the biggest one to me. It turned out to be the Shirley Temple doll I always wanted; she wore a white dress with red polka dots, and she even had red shoes. I loved her.
Joey got a transistor radio. I asked Mama and Daddy if I could get a transistor, too, but they said I was too young. Daddy said he wasn’t thrilled Joey had one since he wasn’t even a teenager yet, but Mama said it was a gift from Uncle Ed so what could she do?
Uncle Ed felt really bad a few days later when Joey snuck the transistor to school. We weren’t allowed to have radios, so that was the first rule Joey broke. The last song he listened to on the way to school was “The Name Game”, a new one by Shirley Ellis, and I guess it got stuck in his head. When his teacher asked him to give his report on Abraham Lincoln, Joey said, “You mean Lincoln, Lincoln bo bincoln bonana fanna fo fincoln fee fy mo mincoln, Lincoln?” Joey told me later the kids in his class thought that was the funniest thing they’d ever heard, but Mama said Mr. Adams called and gave her an ear full. He said Joey’s singing disrupted the class and was disrespectful. She said Joey’s teacher was especially put out when he saw the radio in Joey’s shirt pocket.
Joey got into a lot of trouble at school and then again when Daddy came home. He took Joey’s transistor away and said he wouldn’t get it again until Joey learned to be responsible.
It was all Uncle Ed’s fault. At least that’s what Joey said; he told me if he’d never been given the radio, he’d never have gotten into trouble in the first place. He said he wished Uncle Ed would get lost at sea. That made me mad cause I loved Uncle Ed. I shushed Joey and said that wasn’t nice. He shushed me back and told me I should shut my big fat trap. That made me wish I’d been an only child.
