The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature

Savannah Ghost Tour by David Massengill

Fiction

A drunk couple sat in the next-to-last bench on the tour trolley. He had a rebel grin and couldn’t have been more than 24. She wore glasses and looked twenty years his senior even in the dark. They would snicker, and she would punch him in the shoulder as if she truly wanted to hurt him. Yet their knees touched the entire ride. The tour guide—a young local woman—warned, “Please limit your side conversations, as you have paid money for this tour and so have the other passengers.” The trolley stopped at the Colonial Park Cemetery, where passengers obediently formed a semi-circle on the sidewalk and the drunk couple wandered down the block. The guide talked of Civil War grave desecration and a man who’d died in 1901 by passing out from alcohol and cracking open his head on a tombstone. Supposedly, folks have glimpsed his gory-faced ghost up to this day. The couple stood on the corner, embracing, and then the woman vomited over the cemetery fence. The trolley left without them.