Legit: I actually like grits and okra and somewhat understand the everyday despair in Faulkner.
A Hundred years From Now
There had been 10 pandemics since the first. There also had been two World Wars, 6 race wars, and 3 masculine revolts against feminism. Masks had been worn all along, but now some chose to have a mask implanted surgically and to get all food intravenously, but were a small minority. Most still lined up at the drive-thrus of fast food joints.
Churches had and still faced more stringent regulations about social distancing than did gyms and beauty salons. Libraries have been closed for years. The current generation does not know what the word “book” means. All knowledge is confined to and posted on Twitter Twitter and has to be brief and also pleasant.
Pope Hank the first saw church attendance dwindling – likewise so did collections. He knew something had to be done to save the Church, so he did it: he bought McDonalds.
A parish priest acted as manager for each restaurant, and altar boys and girls took your order. You were asked if you wanted confession with your french fries, then offered a Holy Meal of wafer and wine. Once the “collection” was taken, grace was played over the loudspeaker and you were offered the chance to buy dessert. As you left, you were blessed and asked to “go in peace”.
Pope Hank did sometimes have misgivings, though. He often wondered if Jesus could stomach those square fish sandwiches and that strange goop they called tartar sauce.