Author: Posted by Dead Mules

Southern Legitimacy Statement: Being from West Virginia, I am from a certain section of the South. I am Appalachian raised with a special place in my heart of all things Southern. Homecoming I woke up sweaty, tangled in the white...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: * here’s how they talk in Somewhere, Texas? Uncle Dwayne’s Luger “Sue-Lynn called me hollerin’ an’ bawlin’ over the phone: ‘Oh Uncle Joe, it’s jus’ the awfullest thang!’ ‘Whut the hell er ya caterwallerin’ ‘bout, Sue-Lynn?’  I...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: A good piece back, I was Drum Major for The Pride of Dixie, Cairo High School, Syrupmaker Marching Band.  It was during these formative years I developed a talent for walking backwards for long stretches of time....

Southern Legitimacy Statement: I still say y’all, ain’t and I reckon. I live near Tampa and I would say that is nearly southern as one can get, although I don’t live near a swamp. Calls From the Southern Forest Today,...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: I grew up on a tobacco farm in Rougemont, North Carolina. As soon as I turned eighteen I did what everybody else who gets tired of the work and the dirt and the tobacco worms do and...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: I grew up watching the BC Powder commercials with the woman clutching her temple and saying: “That sure ain’t helping my headache.” I learned at an early age that one of the proper ways to drink Coca-Cola...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: I’m tired of apologizing for being a native Floridian. I’ve never ridden an alligator or cooked meth, and “Florida Man” headlines freak me out too. Some of us down here in the thumb of the country are...

Southern Legitimacy Statement: I was born and raised in the segregated South. Separate water fountains, restrooms, seating in the movie theater, and schools. My high school didn’t desegregate until two years after I graduated. I regret that. My city commission...